I have Figured out the Lord

I have figured out the Lord’s plan. By my reckoning he has me planned to depart this Earth sometime in December 2009. There are a couple of thoughts, suppositions if you will, that have brought me to this conclusion. First of all He has always been forgiving to me. I was spared having to fight in a ground war. To this day I have never had an auto accident. Ok. One at 5mph when I was 18. I have been in some dangerous jobs in dangerous places but always emerged physically and mentally intact; like the summer I was logging in Oregon. A log broke loose and started down the hill after me. I heard it behind me and glanced back to explore my options. No options, just the log inexorably crashing toward me. I wasn’t going to get around that ugly heaving monster, 2 1/2/ft thick and 35 ft long. Seconds before it was to hit me I dove desperately down the mountain, turning a forward summersalt and landing on my back exactly in a depression in the earth just wide and long enough to accommodate my body. I laid there, eyes open and watched it thunder over me. Fortunately there was not a broken branch stub on the log at my position. Had there been it would have reached down in my hole, stabbed me, jerked me out of my hole and either thrown me down the mountain or held me bent around itself as it steamed toward the creek. Lucky? No one gets lucky as many times as I have.

My medical care has always been available and first rate, even when living in foreign countries. I had Scarlet Fever, phemonia a number of times and a couple of cracked skulls, not to mention a lung embolism, all of which were ably nurtured by competent medical staff. I have committed some despicable acts and got away with them. Others are sitting in jail for the same offenses against society. I have had a relatively easy life in spite of making some horrendous mistakes outside of frequently providing Him with downright outrageous behavior. Not that he hasn’t used my sins as righteous justification to do with me as he will and I have come to the conclusion that such is the case. In more ways than not I do not share mental or physical or emotional baggage carried, usually through no fault of their own, by others. I believe his plan for me has been to further the spiritual and earthly progress of others less fortunate. Lending veracity to this thought is the feeling that I am doing these things that benefit others through no outright intentions of my own. Right now I’m diligently working for St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. In February of this year He released me from my job as caregiver to my wife, a woman with mysterious problems who had me questioning her odd behavior without any explanation. After 17 years of faithful provider and reliant father I answered the door and was served with divorce papers. “Ok. My job there is done”, think.. Wify as I liked to call her has what my research has revealed to be “BPS”. Borderline Personality Syndrome. I saw it on “48 Hours” at first. The illness occurs in women 80% of the time. As they described the symptoms it became more and more evident to me that they were what I had been putting up with for the past 17 years with Wifey. Unexplained mood swings, tendency to project fault, low self image, overly aggressive behavior, taking offense and going on the attack for the slightest excuse, needless jealousy and possessivness. She came from a seemingly uneventful and normal childhood, but carried this baggage. She was suffering. She also has faith in the Lord. " Hmmm "ponders the Lord, then here comes Chuck waddling down the road. I really do believe the Lord sent me to her to share her burden and provide her with a scape goat, a landing pad if you will. Considering my previous disgraceful behavior, it would not be outside of logical reasoning to suppose I deserved anything better. Fast forward 17 years, Wifey secure in her house that we built with my fathers inheritance it was time to move me on to bigger things. Besides, worthless as he figures I was, He probably thought I had suffered enough. I also think I got time off for good behavior so February 18, 2009 I answered the door and there He was, sans beard, thinly disguised as a deputy sheriff serving me divorce papers. Besides the court order freezing my assets, it also ordered me to move out. “Enjoy your 4 walls” she said as I left my family and moved into a ready made little apartment at a reasonable rent somehow conveniently available. Its so obvious to me that my life isn't anything but planned. I play golf occasionally and ride my Harley, and think of going on a vacation, but the thought of spending money, for some odd reason, appals me. It then occurred to me to change my benefits package which was customized for the family to one just for me. I cannot change the life insurance amount but once a year, but I can change the beneficiary, which I did. The remainder of the package is allowed to be changed in October, but not effective till Jan 1st. I will change it in October. That means there will be $120k life insurance going to St. Jude’s Hospital if I kick off before January. Plus I’m saving another $3000 per month which will also go to St. Jude’s. In order to max out the benefit to God’s children he will have to bring me home before the life insurance cancels out in January. That means I will be joining my parents and two siblings in December. Preferably before Christmas. I hope so because I don’t like spending Christmas alone.

I won't be leaving any debt behind except the bill my lawyer sent me. I hired her to see me through this divorce and I'm still married so I've decided not to pay her. Now that I have willed my entire estate to St. Jude's Childrens Hospital she will have to sue them to collect. Being a lawyer that probably won't bother her much.